This is why honey…

Hi Honey, I hope you don’t mind but I am sharing you with my little world. I’m gonna keep telling you how much I love you, how much I always will, and someone else might read it too. It’ll be good for me; it helps our love live on a bit more. Some days I miss you so much it’s hard to function, life isn’t the same anymore. I know I never have to let you go, you can stay a part of me, in the very fabric of my soul, in the deepest part of my heart. But man, I really miss you here beside me. I miss you holding my hand, talking about our day, the way you were Dad to our kids, cuddling beside me, driving with you, your great coffee, how you could fix about anything, face challenges together…you know, everything!

You had me totally convinced you know that? That two really are better than one, I gave in and loved you with everything in me I could. It wasn’t always a smooth road, but thanks for walking it with me, bumps and all. Actually, some of those bumps added strength once we figured them out. You were good like that. Oh honey, you’re like home to me, warm, loving and comfy, I’m so damn homesick without you. I promised on your birthday that I would find hope again, and I will, we will. I know you want me to live my life here until I get to come there. The sun peaks through the clouds some days, it’s not searing, but I know seasons don’t last forever, they change, no two ever the same. It’s odd and scary to make plans without you, like I’m leaving you behind. I think you are praying for us though, and my plans are still our plans as long as I lean into God and let Him lead me. I love you my honey babe, play a song for me up there, and make it loud. xxxxx